Trash pickers

One of the families that live in our apartment building is moving on out.  Not that I really care that much.  In almost two years I’ve seen him twice and his wife maybe once.  But looking back I think that was the UPS delivery guy not the neighbor’s wife that one time I saw her.  If that was his wife she was hella ugly but the color brown suits her well.

I’m not sure what he or his wife do for a living but Melissa says he works for the cable company.  She’s talked to them.  Melissa is friendly like that.  I on the other hand am a premature 29 year old grumpy old man who doesn’t really like to socialize.

While they were in the process of packing up a nice pile of trash built up at the curb of stuff they didn’t want to lug with them to where ever they’re going.  Can’t say I blame them.  Everytime I’ve had to pack up and ship off to a new residence like the nomadic traveler I am I’ve found you start to reconsider what you truly value.  After the 7th trip to the Budget rental truck I remember thinking “Do I really need to move this mattress?  It’s so heavy.  We can just buy a new one.”  The cost to replace vs. the energy it takes to move ratio gets tipped out of proportion when you get tired.

Last time we moved Melissa was packing all the non perishable food items up in a box.  The cardboard box seemed like it weight 100 pounds so I just threw it in the trash pile.  She can buy new Rice-O-Roni.  I on the other hand can’t sprout a new spinal cord when the one I currently have gets shattered from lifting the heavy  container.

So back to the moving neighbors and enough talk about Rice-O-Roni.  I need to stick to the subject at hand and besides, thinking about those savory side dishes is making me hungry.  In their moving process they build up a respectable trash pile by the curb.  Bunch of old boxes, some old baby toys, few garbage bags, an old monitor, an old computer and a broken desk chair were laying out by the road.

Woah!  Hold up.

A monitor?!

A computer?!

A desk chair….with one armrest broken but that doesn’t matter because you’ll be using the mouse anyways so you don’t need an arm rest?!

Yes garbage pickers of South Bend and Southern Michigan those items were just laying out for anyone to pull up in there 1991 hatch back and claim their new prizes.  And many did.  At least a dozen times I’d look out the window to see a car driving by slowly, rubbernecking to see if they could use that sweet computer on the grass.  Or someone pulling over to give that desk chair a closer look.

It didn’t take long though.  The computer was out there less than a day until it was snatched up.  The desk chair lasted a little longer on the pile.  Three days I belive.  The pile has been rummaged through from others who’ve missed out on the initial goodies and where in search of possible other computer goodies buried underneath.

This morning I was taking our garbage can out because it was smelly and the collection truck comes tomorrow.  Once I stepped outside I noticed yet another garbage picker inspecting that treasure of a lonely monitor that still remained.  I approached slowly with garbage can in hand making no sudden movements.  The pickers are a timid breed and are scared off my quick jerky movements. 

I got within ten feet and my trash hunter looked up a bit startled (but not enough so to run off in his rusted 92 escort) and said “Hey”

I replied “Hey” back to my dirty guest.

We were now friends as he eyed my black Rubbermaid trash bin I was holding like I eye a sauce pan of simmering meatballs.  In his eyes I was holding treasure.  TREASURES! 

“What….what’s in there”  he asked me with dreams of me throwing out a scanner, a keyboard, a mouse maybe, or dare I say some old AOL start-up disks.  “Anything good?”

I drew a blank.  Might have been possibly talking with the most optimistic person on the planet.  Here this guy is, down wind mind you, from nasty garbage and all he can think about it I might have something simply amazing for him. I was fighting the urge to dry heave from the raunchy smell which he must have interpreted my watering eyes as tears of joy over the gift I was about to bestow upon him.

To answer his question about what was in the trash bin I replied “Meat…..old meat.”  That’s the end of that.  He wanted computer junk and all I had to offer was chicken fat I trimmed off.

Nope.

He comes back with “Let me see. Show me” as if I was going to remove the lid and a magical Best Buy super center was going to be in there.

This stranger puzzled, pissed me off, and scared the shit out of me all at the same time.  In a stern, yet polite voice, I told him “I’m taking this back inside. When I come back out you’re going to be gone.  Is that understood?  If you are not gone I will make you eat the contents of this trash can to prove my point this is in fact rotting meat.  You do not want that do you?”

He left.  Looks like I’ll just have to put the garbage out under the cover of night to not alert the scavengers.

On the way to work I got to thinking which is always bad.  Nothing ever good comes from my mind working.  I’ve had my old PC from college in the basement for years.  Why not take that, pop open the case,  fill the inside with old meat, seal it up and leave that by the curb for some garbage picker to collect.  Of course in true Eric fashion my mind let the joke go to far.  My next plan if Project: PC full of meat worked was to fill an old monitor filled with gasoline the place it by the curb.  Some trash picker takes it home, plugs it in, and BOOOOOOMMMMMM.

But I don’t think the second idea is plausible.  Not sure the cops around here would take to kindly to me making what essentially is an IED as a joke.  Something tells me that would border on terrorism.

AHHHHH HA HA THat was Hilarious...oh..I

Eric and Melisa Alliance

Finally after a year of waiting and several more weeks of hearing “No, I’m sorry we don’t have any copies in right now”  from out local family video I got my hands on Marvel Ultimate  Alliance 2 at last.  I owned it’s predecessor for my PSP and when I ponied up the cash buying a Xbox 360 a copy of the game came bundled with that system.  The first installment of Marvel ultimate Alliance was a fun enough game on its own but what made it a blast to play was the multiplayer side.  It’s rare Melissa and I can compromise on a video game multi player experience we can have together and both enjoy. 

I’m either stuck playing a kids game where I have to hunt down jewels or some other sparkly collectable (for no apparent reason from what I can tell) all the while asking myself when do I get to shoot something.  Her on the other hand gets forced into playing me in what every shoot em’ up I’ve rented that week.  Not that my wife is bad at first person shooters but every time I gaze over at her screen when we face off she’s either aimed straight up at the sky or down at the ground.  Which would be fine if the point of Call of Duty:Modern warfare was taking out evil seagulls and ant regimens of the world.  

The great thing about Marvel Ultimate Alliance series is that it combines hunting for power ups (for her) and fighting (for me).  So while I’m playing as Spider Man taking on evil doers bent world domination Melissa playing as the Human Torch is across the room where I’m getting beat up taking the time to break open crates in search of gems and other power ups.  But when I’m not hearing “OOOOOOOOh look at all the power ups I just found” she’s busy trying to light me a blaze with fire balls.

Don’t have the heart to tell her she can’t hurt me since we’re on the same team.

As long as my wife burning someone with "Fire Man" (what she calls the Human Torch) everything is right with the world. doesn't matter to her is she's burning me

 

 

 

That crazy interweb

I’ll never understand the Internet or as I prefer to call it, the interweb.  Last week I shockingly averaged around 140 blog hits a day.  Those are absolutely astounding numbers for my site considering how little “valuable” content I post.  Let’s face it.  No one is logging onto huskyanimator.wordpress.com for the latest news on the happening in the Middle East.  Actually a considerable amount of my blogs hits resulted from searches from web surfers hunting for Mr.T or Lady Gaga. 

Go on.  Look.  My site is the first result for a Mr.T search image search. Not sure how it happened, the interweb works in mysterious ways, but being number one like that is a huge feather in my cap.  Who knows, Mr.T himself could google himself (and who amongst us hasn’t) and come across my site.  Hopefully I’m near the top of the list of Fools he pittys

But for the past few days I’m back down hovering around the 20 hits per day range.  Have no idea what to attribute to the lack in traffic but I’m praying for a return to 100+ glory.  So please.  Tell your friends, your parents, co workers and imaginary friends (what? like I’m the only one with those) to check me out.  That 140 hit mark is like crack for us bloggers and I need my fix.

Question for Lexus ***UPDATE***

A few posts back I told you about my thundering brainstorm of an idea of flat out asking Lexus for a new car.  Not sure how often they received email request begging for a car but there was an outside chance it was just crazy enough to work.  This afternoon I received a response.

Dear Mr. Winter:

Thank you for contacting Lexus Customer Satisfaction. We are dedicated to providing superior service. In circumstances that require our attention, we will assist in the resolution process.

We appreciate your interest in our brand. We apologize, at this time we are unable to accommodate your request. We recommend contacting your local Lexus dealership for assistance with the purchase of a Lexus vehicle. We thank you for taking the time to contact us, and can assure you that your comments have been documented at our National Headquarters office.

If you require further assistance, please respond to this e-mail, or contact Lexus Customer Satisfaction at 1-800-255-3987, Monday through Friday, 5:00 am to 6:00 pm, or Saturday, 7:00 am to 4:00 pm, Pacific Time.

Sincerely,

Ashley Jaskulsky
Lexus Customer Satisfaction

Oh well.  Looks like I’m right back where I was last week.  Lexus free.  They were very professional in their response and hopefully my email made it’s way around the office that day with the “Eric” of the Lexus car company saying “Get a load of this jackass.  Here, I’ll forward you this email.”

Looks like I won't need this hat after all

You never forget how to ride a bike

The older I get the more and more I find myself acting like my father.  Just a few minutes ago I happened to look out the window and saw one of the trashy kids down the road riding his bike our way.  Him along with the rest of his kin earning the nick name “Trashy Family” because they’re the ones who’re yelling and fighting all the time at all hours of the night.  So the trashy kid is flying down the road, sans helmet keep in mind, while doing a little stunt riding.  In and out of the rain gutter using it as a make shift ramp.  Had a regular X-games super star on our block with his sweet BMX moves.

Well, that was until he bit it.  He was returning to earth after a “big air” trick, about a half foot off the ground, and the bike’s front wheel was angled perpendicular to the rest of the frame.  Instant lock up.  His momentum wanted to continue forward but since the handlebars where cockeyed trashy boy lurched forward.  Now he didn’t go over top the handle bars like Tarzan flying through the jungle but rather the the entire bike and him tipped to the side and skidded about 15 feet where it came to a stop.  Was one of the tumbles that pins yous leg under the bike forcing you to flop around like a fish out of water to grain freedom from the wreckage.

I sat in the window watching him combine a fine balance of embarrassment and pain.  He wanted to cry more from a bruised ego rather than the bruises on his face, head, elbow, arms, hands, knee and a few more on his face. 

I doubt he could hear me at his new home on the asphalt but there’s a pretty good chance some where my Dad’s ear’s perked up.  “Well you’re horse-assing around on the god damned bike and ya fell.  What the hell did ya’ think was going to happen.  Ride it right of I’ll take it away god dammit all” were muttered under my breath.

Like I said, the older I get the more and more I find myself acting like my father.  But that aside you ever have a chance to watch a kid you don’t particularly like bite it hard on a bike I recommend it.  Gave me quite the laugh and put an extra pep in my step.  Forget coffee.  This was a much better way to start my day.

And I’m pretty sure he’s OK.  Well, least from falling off the bike.  Can’t speak for the second hand meth he’s inhaling from his parents.

I'll tumble for ya

They can hide but I’ll find them

At work there will be stretches of up to two hours some day where my computer is busy working on rendering a 3d animation.  When I first got that system it was blazing fast but recently it’s been getting bogged down slower and slower.  All computers get that way….it’s got nothing to do with porn.  I used to be able to work on other projects while the 3d program was doing it’s thing but those days are long gone.  Luckily for me the Internet explorer still runs at a reasonable rate so when I’m doing a render I can surf online.  Lucky me.  Least I can still check my hotmail.

During my down time while the system is rendering of my usual stops on interweb of useless information is hunting for sex offenders.  They’re living all over the place.  Chances are you’ve got a few taking up residence near you…..and you don’t even know it.  Cue the creepy music. 

“How can I find these child molesters?” you’re asking.  You can either look them up online OR you can call me to hunt them down.

Well if you live in Indiana, I’m sorry for you so do I, but Indiana Sheriffs department has a great site for tracking child molesters and rapists.  Check out http://www.insor.org/insasoweb/ some time.  You’ll be informed yet horrified at the results.  I remember saying “Aw come one!  I eat at that Wendy’s” upon learning a child molester was serving up my classic double combo meal at my favorite fast food joint.  Pretty sure that wasn’t Dave Thomas’ vision.

If you’re outside Indiana I’m sure your state has a search able registry but you can always head to http://www.familywatchdog.us/.  That one is a national data base.   I’ll check that one a few times every month to make sure the pervs are staying clear of friends and family back home in New York.  Can’t have Dad getting molested by a new neighbor now can I?  Got to look out for him.  My vigilant watch has been going on for a few years now and I’ve never caught a sex offender moving nearby someone I’m close to.

Until know.  Two weeks ago I came across this guy

http://familywatchdog.us/ViewOffenderDetails.asp?oID=NY526913291&aID=208523625&at=1&sid={DB97149E-78CD-4664-BC48-6CDC63AB0BC8}&lat=43.2386666&long=-78.9097634&clr=%23ff0000&rm=0

Thomas Harmon. If you ever see him tell him huskyanimator.wordpress.com said "Hello"

 

He lives right next door to close friends of my parents.  Yeah, scary I know.  Usually a nice little “hey everyone, there’s a pedophile next door.  Best to keep an eye out people” of a heads up warning is sent out to the community.  Usually.  Seems this guy moved in and slipped through cracks in the system that are in place to let parents in the area know.  His neighbors has no idea….Until I found him.

New York State as well as Niagara County let this perv sneak through.  Their system’s have flaws.  Eric Winter dosn’t.  Nothing gets by me……except spelling, grammar and the occasionally Melissa asking me to empty the dishwasher.  Besides those nothing gets by me.

I let the Friends of my parents know and this is the response she sent me the other day:

“hey thanks for the info on the perp next door, he slipped through the cracks and district didn’t know about him. thanks to you the entire disctrict has sent notices to all homes with his pic and demo and convictions.”

That’s right because of yours truly the ENTIRE DISTRICT GOT NOTICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Batman might have stopped the Joker and rescued Gotham City hundreds of times but for a newbie super hero such as myself this is a big accomplishment.  Rest easy Niagara Wheatfield School district (even though I went to your sworn enemy Lewiston Porter) I will keep a vigilant watch for your safety.

I’m just going to repeat this one more time because my pride is forcing me to.  The entire freakin school  district got a notice because of me! 

I’m going to take a nap.  Being a super hero and blogging about it very tiring

Top ten most wanted

I was looking at the FBI’s Ten most wanted fugitives list online this afternoon.  Check it from time to time to see if my wife’s father shows up on there.  Let’s face it, I’ve got a better shot of seeing him on there than Mr. Lozinsky showing up for christmas dinner one year.  

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/topten/fugitives/fugitives.htm

Well he wasn’t on there but it did give me the opportunity to read up on the latest updates to the worst of the worst the FBI is hunting. Bin Laden is there of course and I read up on Jason Derek Brown.  He’s a rich, murdering, play boy who likes to show off his toys at clubs while being the center of attention.  Oh and the report also said he also has bisexual tendencies.  If that was me I’d turn myself in just to clear that misconception up.

Show’s why I don’t/can’t work for the FBI.   First of all I’d never pass the obstacle course at the academy. Rope climbs are the bane of my existence.  Second I’d just say all criminals were gay, hope they had a problem with that and turned themselves in to set the record straight.  I’d call it projects “Who ya’ll calling  gay?  I ain’t no gay”

One thing I did notice was how awful the Ten most wanted logo was. I hate to critique stuff like this, especially if I’m not getting paid to, but it doesn’t look right.  I want my fugitive hunting logos to be bad ass, macho, gritty.  This looks more like a logo for a really bad sitcom that was on after full house during the T.G.I.F. line up in the 90’s.  

It's a wacky show about husband and wife rouge fugitive ex FBI agents rasing eight fugitive children they adopted in an online auction. Tune in for the humor, hilarity, and hijinks this fall on ABC

 

A nice wholesome family show

 

****PLEASE NOTE THIS FAMILY DOES NOT CONTAIN WANTED FUGITIVES.  I JUST GRABBED THE PICTURE OFF A GOOGLE SEARCH TO USE IN THE JOKE.  IF YOU SEE THEM DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ARREST THEM.  THEY COMMITTED NO CRIME*** 

Question for Lexus

After the recent car buying experience of purchasing our new (to us) 2001 Impala I’ve decided to take a different method when it comes to shopping for vehicles.  It’s a blend of online browsing, comparing, and begging.

I got to thinking a few months ago that I’ll never own a nice car.  Sure our Impala, while old, is nice but I’m talking about a NICE car.  Heated seats, cups holder galore, in dash GPS, voice activated radio, easy bake oven under glove box and other features cars in my price range will never include. 

Never had a passenger in one of my cars say “Eric, this is a nice car.  Must have set you back some.”  No. I get people saying “Eric, this is a nice car.  You got a good deal on it.  How many miles did it have when you bought it?”

I know there’s nothing with used cars.  Eric Winter is a smart consumer after all as well as cheap.  But there’s something about driving a brand new car, seeing the odometer hit one hundred and saying “Wow I’ve driven this a lot”

“Wait a second Eric” you’re probably saying, “did you say begging?”

Yes.  Yes I did.  I asked Lexus for a car.  Not just any car but a free car.  See email below.

This might sound like an odd question but I figured I’d ask it anyways.  I’ve worked hard in life and while I don’t live the life of riches and wealth I imagined I would when I was little I like to think I’ve done pretty well for myself.  Have a job with decent pay.  Not living paycheck to pay check like many my age is.  But one thing has eluded me over the years.  A nice car.  I had a quarter life crisis guess could say a few months ago and came to a realization.  While I consider myself middle class I’m afraid I’ll never be able to afford one of your cars.  Don’t get me wrong. I’d love to be the proud owner a Lexus.  Nothing fancy of course.  Just a stable reliable quality car that I could be proud off.

 

My question to you fine folks at Lexus is would you see it in your hearts to give me a Lexus?  Nothing fancy like I said before just a new car for free.  I’d of course pay taxes and processing but the car itself would be a gift from your great company.

 

Worth a shot.  Figured I’d at least ask. 

 

Thank you very much for your time,

Eric Winter

Winter_eric@hotmail.com

 

 

P.S.  If you do decide to say “Sure, what the hell.  Give that man a car” could you put the big bow on it like in the holiday commercials?  Thank you

 

What’s the worst they can say? No? 

But on the other hand what’s the best they can say?  “Sure will give you a new car Eric.  We’ve been waiting for a crazy bastard nutty enough to just come out and ask for a new car!  Come one down to the dealership and take your pick of the litter”

I’ll post the response from Lexus when……and if I get one.

Sneaky sneaky Eric

Growing up one of my favorite things to do when I was a kid was to mess with my Mom while grocery shopping.  Super Walmarts weren’t around back then so sneaking off to electronics was never an option.  God I wish it was now that I think about it.  Could have been checking out the latest Nintendo games rather than waiting in the soap aisle as Mom went through her coupon data base to see if she could save fifteen cents on Irish Spring.  Since that was often the case I needed to find other ways to entertain myself.

One of the games I invented was “throw shit in the cart when Mom isn’t looking”.  Pretty self explanatory right.  Not the snappiest name I could have chosen but it gets right to the point.  This was a game to play with Mom not Dad.  I wouldn’t have even thought about playing this game is Dad with us.  Even waiting outside in the car while the rest of us shopped was to close for comfort.  Is Dad got wind of me doing this there’d be hell to pay.  He was much much much angryier back then…….course I was much much much more a pain in the ass back then.

Mom was a smart shopper and would usually notice a foreign item in the cart within fifty feet.  “Where did this air freshener come from?” Then she’d fact check her list to make sure is wasn’t on there but once is was a negative on the air fresher if get the “put it back.”

In thy list thy shall trust, Ann Winter 3:16

I try to play the same game with my wife but some how what ever I sneak into the cart we end up needing anyways.  ”where did these snack cakes come from?  Oh well we could use a snack.  We’ll buy them.” Guess I’m helping and that’s not as exciting.

Last month my parents came out to visit my wife and I here in Indiana.  Which was a nice surprise because usually they choose to visit the favorite child (my sister) when they have vacation time. While they were here my Dad wanted to stop at Menards which is a chain of hardware stores.  They don’t have Menards in the Western New York area so is was a special occasion I guess.

While we were wandering around I saw my opportunity.  Opportunity for the greatest round of  “throw shit in the cart when Mom isn’t looking” only this time Dad would be the target.  When he wasn’t looking I snuck something into his cart.  See if you can find it.  And no, it’s no the Bridge mix candy. That’s Mom’s.  Can’t go to a hardware store and not buy bridge mix.

Just an ordinary cart....or is it?

 

Need a hint?  Here I zoomed in on it.

Sneaky Eric. He'll never suspect anything

 

Once we got to the check out Dad started to unload the cart.  At first I got so excited because there was a glimmer of hope he wouldn’t notice anything odd and end up buying my sneaky surprise.  Almost pissed myself I was go giggly. But fate was not on my side that afternoon and Dad spotted the stray box.  To bad to because I could have used these at work.  The urinals there could benefit from a few fresheners in cake form.

Not just urinal cakes but Harvey's cherry scented urinal cakes! They're the Cadillacs of urinal cakes

I might not  be the handy man my dad is but I can find the urinal cakes in the hardware store like no one else can

It only took 23 years to get it right

***WARNING***  THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS SPOILERS DEALING WITH TRANSFORMERS 2:RISE OF THE FALLEN ***WARNING***  If you haven’t seen it yet it’s not bad.  The first installment was better but this sequel isn’t bad either. 

I finally got the ending I wanted in a transformers movie.

The year was 1986 and I was sucked into the newest toys out there.  Transformers.  The first robot in disguise I ever owned was a Christmas gift from Uncle Richard.  Before that I’d never even heard of transformers.  I remember looking at the box confused what this strange looking red semi was.  Sure wasn’t a G.I. Joe.  I knew that much.  Had no idea I’d hit the jack pot getting Optimus Prime as a gift until my two older cousins went crazy when they saw my new toy.

“OH WOW! You got Optimus Prime!”  I remember Scott and Dave saying

“Yep…………is he cool?”  I had no idea

“Yeah! He’s the best one.  The leader of the Autobots” my cousins explained.

The two of them were into transformers long before that day and helped clue me in the rest of the evening to the war raging between Autobots and Decepticons.  After that I was a huge transformers fan.  I’d show my prize possession, Optimus prime (along with trailer/base lab), to anyone who’d listen to my six year old ramblings.  Every day after school I’d be glued to the TV watching Transformers right before GI Joe came on.

You can only hope to imagine my excitement when I heard there was a movie comming right after I got into Transformers.  First time I saw the trailer I doubt I blinked or took a breath.  I bugged the hell out of my Mom to see it.  Thought about asking Dad but I already knew the answer he’d give.  “Ah hell, we’ll get it from the Library when it comes out on tape”

See, Dad dosn’t like seeing movies in theaters.  Growing up that always perplexed me.  Why didn’t he like going to the movies?  I loved it back then but more and more as I grow up I find myself less and less compelled to see things while there still showing.  So imagine my surprise when He took me to see Transformers the movie.

It was a Sunday afternoon at a family get together at my aunts house in 1986.  Now I’m not sure if Dad just wanted an excuse to leave but I heard “Get your coat on and pick up the toys. We’re going to leave in a bit”

To which I replied “But Daaaaaaaaaaadddd.  I’m still plaaaaaaaaaayying”  in whining protesting voice.

I was expecting the gruff growl of my Dad’s anger for complaining but instead I got a very unexpected, shocking surprise.  “Do you want to go see that Transformers movie or not?” was the next thing to come out of his house.

“But Daaaaaaad I don’t wannna leave yet…….what….wait……Transformers movie?” I said a but stunned at this pleasant turn of events.

My Mom and my sister stayed at the party and my Dad and I left left in his truck on our way to see Transformers the movie.  I wasn’t sure if it was really happening or if this was all a trick to get me to go to a doctors appointment.  But it wasn’t!  We pulled up to the Jerry Lewis Theatre, got tickets, and sat in the seating against the left wall third row from the back.  There was a few other people with us but the show was far from crowded.  I sat on my coat to see better……even there wasn’t anyone within 15 seats.  Went to take my sweater off to sit on that as well but Dad yelled at me.  “You can see just fine Dammit all.  Leave your cloths on”

I remember cheering when the revved up movie version of the theme song came blaring over the speakers.  That rock rendition had me yelling “YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH”  and in response had Dad’s eyes wide as dinner plates telling me “Settle the hell down or we’re going home” through angrily clenched teeth.  I’d gotten this far in seeing the movie of my dreams best to behave now.  Dad was known to make good on his threats.

Optimus looked amazing on the big screen.  Beat watching him at home on our 24 inch fuzz television.  But then the unimaginable happened. Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, and my hero was cut down by Megatron in a battle near the beginning of the movie.  I was wide eyed on the verge of tears. “No, no that didn’t just happen” I thought to myself. “It’ll be better, he’ll come back, no way Optimus Prime will make his triumphant return at the end of the movie”

But as I’m sure you know, if you’ve seen that 1986 cartoon classic, Optimus Prime dosn’t come back.  He stays dead, which I came to find out in my later years, was a move made my the toy company behind Transformers to make room for the next installment in the toy line.  Out with the old in with the new right?  What they didn’t count on was my broken heart.

Excuse me.  Getting a little emotional here.

The whole ride home after the movie I rode in silence not knowing how to deal with life after school with out Optimus Prime.  Surely if he died in the movie he was dead on the cartoon right?  Well my childhood logic wasn’t correct and Optimus was still on the daily cartoon but the damage of seeing him die was done.  Scared for life.

Imagine my shock when in the newest CG/Live action Transformers 2 Optimus Prime is killed.  I got flash backs of sitting in the Jerry Lewis theatre, wide eyed, breathless, mouthing NOooooooooooo in stunned silence.  “Not again!  Dear Lord not again” I told my wife but she didn’t share my concern.  Can’t lie.  I wanted to cry when I saw home killed in that forest about a hour into the film.

But 23 years after I left a movie on the verge of tears after seeing Optimus Prime die failing to make a comeback at the end of the film I finally got my happy ending.  In Transformers two they revive Prime allowing him a heroic return defeating the bad guys setting the universe right once again.  Thank you Micheal Bay.  You’ve set the universe right again.  Like I said it only took 23 years but all is right in the world once again